


The Cat Whisperer

by xslytherclawx



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Cats, Gen, Post-Canon, cat lady Alphonse, stupid cat names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 00:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shortly after the end of the manga/FMAB, Alphonse is finally able to keep a pet cat... and, naturally, he goes a bit overboard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cat Whisperer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoodbyeBlueMonday](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodbyeBlueMonday/gifts).



> Alternate title: "Al/Cats Should Be Everyone's FMA OTP"
> 
> the prompt for this was: "an FMA fanfic that is Al gushing over cats like "Aren't you a pretttttty kitttttty YES YOU ARE" and Ed is just like "kill me now" as he listens to this"
> 
> Just a short little oneshot as a break from my multichapter fics, character studies, and original fiction.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~aaaaand the frame of reference for Al was _totally_ not me. Nope. I don't go overboard squealing over my kitty. Not at all...  
> ....for the record, my cat's name is Furble, like... fur-ball, but cuter, so i have NO room to talk about Al.~~

Perhaps Ed should have expected this. He certainly hadn't been in any place to deny his brother anything after the Promised Day, and, well... things had gotten out of hand. What was worse, by this point, Ed couldn't do anything about it. There was no way that he could take _away_ his little brother's pets – not after everything Alphonse had gone through.

...Which meant, really, one thing: the house was being overrun by cats.

Or so it felt.

Edward knew that, in reality, only five of the cats were Alphonse's own pets – although he badgered Ed and Winry to leave food out for strays, so there were more than a few cats who hung around the house outside. It was out of control, but no one in the house – not Edward nor Winry nor Pinako – had it in them to deny Alphonse his cats.

And so they were in a bit of a difficult place.

Winry had taken it in stride, and had learned to deal with the extra animals. Pinako had no issue so long as the cats didn't interfere with her work. As for Edward, well, he was trying to remind himself that nothing really mattered so long as Alphonse was happy – and Alphonse _was_ happy.

He'd named not only his pet cats, but all of the strays that he saw. If Ed didn't know any better, he'd swear that his younger brother was some sort of... _cat whisperer_ or something.

He was struck by this feeling as Alphonse sat on the couch, having felt good enough that day to go downstairs. Ed was trying to read a book (not only nonfiction, but scientific, of course), but he could barely concentrate over Alphonse positively _squealing_ over the cats.

“Fluffy, you're such a _pretty kitty_ ,” Alphonse cooed, scratching an admittedly rather furry orange cat under the chin. A black and white cat headbutted his arm. “Oh, I didn't forget about you, Midnight.” He petted this cat as well, cooing some nonsense in babytalk to the animal. “And what a _beautiful kitty cat_ you are, Stripes...” he nuzzled the cat who was situated by his shoulder.

Ed rolled his eyes and wondered why his brother couldn't at least be more creative with pet names. Midnight? Fluffy? Stripes? These were the sorts of names that toddlers gave their pets. “...I really hope that you don't treat your children like that,” Ed said aloud.

Al frowned. “I think you're getting ahead of yourself, Brother. I've only just turned sixteen... I'm not going to get married any time soon. Besides, I don't know if I'll even have children.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “Well, I can't say for sure. I wouldn't have any _issue_ with it, but I think I'd rather be an uncle. ...At least for now.” He smirked and Ed itched to toss his book at his brother – but they both knew that he wouldn't.

“I don't want kids.”

“But I'm sure Winry does.”

“Just because she's a girl, or...?”

“No. You know how she took to Elysia, and when we were all in Rush Valley for the first time...”

“Eh.” Ed shrugged. “Not any time soon, though.”

“Probably not,” Al conceded. “But still.”

“Look, just... don't name your kid 'pink' or 'squishy' or something dumb like that.”

Al rolled his eyes. “You know I wouldn't.”

“I don't _know_ that. You named your cats stupid things.”

Al frowned and petted his cats. “He doesn't mean that,” he said to the animals. “You're all wonderful.”

“They have dumb names.”

“They do not! They love their names!”

Edward rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Al. I'm just saying, I don't want my future niece or nephew to be named 'squishy pink thing'.”

“That would never happen. Cats are different from people. You can name them silly things and they won't judge you for it.”

“Yeah; you're telling me.”

Al merely shrugged and continued to pet his cats. One of his cats – a calico – ran in from the other room and jumped up onto his lap. “Awww, hello, Spotsy,” he cooed, scratching the animal behind her ears. “You're such a pretty girl, aren't you?”

“It's a cat.”

“ _She_ is a very beautiful calico kitty. Be nice, Brother.”

Ed groaned. “I should've never gotten you a cat... we should've waited until you were well enough to go out and buy one on your own.”

“I'd have had to buy two, so they could keep each other company while I'm sleeping or out.”

Ed was sure that he'd never rolled his eyes harder. “I'm going to go see what's for lunch. You want anything?”

Alphonse shook his head. “I'm going to try to go out there in a few minutes.”

His older brother nodded. “Okay. Just let me know if you need anything, all right?”

“Well... could you make sure that there's food and water for the strays?”

Ed rolled his eyes yet again. “Fine. You're lucky I love you,” he muttered as he stalked out of the room.


End file.
